I Don’t Want To Leave
Sunset of an era
(c) Roberto Isaza
I Don’t Want To Leave
Look at this sunset
it is only for you.
Look at the splatters
of raindrops
on the sills of heaven,
on sills from the heavens.
Look very carefully
may be the last thing
you see.
No guarantee
to live ‘ till tomorrow,
only an ever-present now.
Look very closely
at all {that} you see,
watch the clues
of creation.
Filling us now
always at now
as fragile as footsteps
in the snow.
As corporeal
as sea foam
trailing the ferry
on the wings
of waves
here and gone
in an instant
but enough
to engage
my attention.
I come to die here
today,
Septembereleventwothousandandone.
I don’t want to die,
I love you so much
my gentle loved ones.
I am not afraid
I ... just ... love you
so much,
and don’t want to leave
leave you, leave me.
But I’m not afraid
thanks to your love
I will never fear again.
The attack on us
is a sad event
and thousands
will lose our lives
all in the line
of duty.
And those many of us
who die here, today,
will have done so
not because
of the attack
but because
we were not prepared.
A fire in the building
would have still
been a disaster.
How can anyone here
get past the flames
from the 37th floor
and above.
The stairs? Pah.
The flames feed
off my air!
If you have the technology
to build so high
you have the means
to save me.
Why don’t you do it?
And don’t give me
the excuse
of the fucking bottom line
what my life is worth
right
now,
at this moment
is these towers
and all those souls
that inhabit it.
The bottom-line
is Bull-shit!
I work so hard
and this is what I get?
I see the aftermath,
MONEY.
If I give you this
can you settle for that?
That too
will be gone,
and War.
Who do we hit?
Who hit us?
And the hitting
will never stop.
Not in my name, Pal.
Let me weep a little,
then let me go.
© Roberto Isaza
June 16, 2005
Look at this sunset
it is only for you.
Look at the splatters
of raindrops
on the sills of heaven,
on sills from the heavens.
Look very carefully
may be the last thing
you see.
No guarantee
to live ‘ till tomorrow,
only an ever-present now.
Look very closely
at all {that} you see,
watch the clues
of creation.
Filling us now
always at now
as fragile as footsteps
in the snow.
As corporeal
as sea foam
trailing the ferry
on the wings
of waves
here and gone
in an instant
but enough
to engage
my attention.
I come to die here
today,
Septembereleventwothousandandone.
I don’t want to die,
I love you so much
my gentle loved ones.
I am not afraid
I ... just ... love you
so much,
and don’t want to leave
leave you, leave me.
But I’m not afraid
thanks to your love
I will never fear again.
The attack on us
is a sad event
and thousands
will lose our lives
all in the line
of duty.
And those many of us
who die here, today,
will have done so
not because
of the attack
but because
we were not prepared.
A fire in the building
would have still
been a disaster.
How can anyone here
get past the flames
from the 37th floor
and above.
The stairs? Pah.
The flames feed
off my air!
If you have the technology
to build so high
you have the means
to save me.
Why don’t you do it?
And don’t give me
the excuse
of the fucking bottom line
what my life is worth
right
now,
at this moment
is these towers
and all those souls
that inhabit it.
The bottom-line
is Bull-shit!
I work so hard
and this is what I get?
I see the aftermath,
MONEY.
If I give you this
can you settle for that?
That too
will be gone,
and War.
Who do we hit?
Who hit us?
And the hitting
will never stop.
Not in my name, Pal.
Let me weep a little,
then let me go.
© Roberto Isaza
June 16, 2005
posted by Rob @ 1:17 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Rob:
That's an amazing photo....how the heck....?
Yes, the entire country and most of the Western world--our former allies as well as former foes--rallied around us after that awful day. I thought surely downtown would become an empty shell--that people would move out or refuse to move in--but that has not happened.
I used to work for a university, and we published a lot of colorful brochures and booklets for prospective students. In these books, naturally, we talked only of the positive points about the university and NYC.
The cover of a number of our publications featured a shot that prominently displayed the World Trade Center. We of course had to do away with this beautiful image.
In some of our brochures, we featured quotes from students and alumni. One of the student's stories mentioned the WTC. While writing the text, I asked if we were going to exclude any mention of 9/11 so as not to scare away students who were considering coming to this downtown school. The attack had only recently happened, and people were still unsure of how to approach this.
Word came down from above that we were not to avoid mention of the tragedy; moreover, it was felt that one of the things that would attract post-9/11 students was the spirit of survival and hope that came to be associated even more with our city in the months and years following this horrible event.
As your image shows, the WTC and all it has come to stand for live on. From my bedroom window, when the memorial of twin light columns were installed for a time in memory of the WTC, I looked each night and was haunted and saddened.
This is a montage I made with the WTC towers in its better days, the light memorial and a beautiful sunset on NY harbor. I worked there on several occassions teaching ESL to the president and several workers of a japanese bank. In later years I brought my wife and baby to the observation deck together with one of my students from Ivory Coast. I stood on the deck outside making a video of all that could be seen from the top of NY. I had lunch on many occasions with my mother, with my wife and kids at the fountain in the plaza. Saw my share of concerts in the plaza. I frequented the bookstore and the exit from the 1/9 train to go to school in the DC 37 building a block away. Rode my bike every day to and from work and wrote more than a line or two about the buildings and what they represented to me. I was on the 8:45 ferry when the attack happened, saw the second plane plow into the building and lived the horror of reliving the attack with my therapist until I could sorta exorcise the fearful ice it left in my soul. I firmly believe that many of the deaths could have been prevented if there had been an effective method and mode of evacuation. Of course the emphasis was put on the attacks themselves, blinding us to the huge responsibility the designers and owners had in the deaths of so many people. Then they tell us that it is safe to be downtown, of course, they couldn't do otherwise. The hub of city government, justice, and economy lives downtown manhattan. so we went back...
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